Let's talk about trust.
As much as we must trust others around us to become successful, we also need to trust ourselves...and that's what might be the most underrated.
What is trust?
In another word, faith. Faith in better. Faith in others. Faith in growth over time. Faith that you can get through on top, despite the obstacles.
In another word, confidence. Isn't that what we all want to be? Confident, secure, in control of our situation. Even though things are not always in our control, it is belief in the overcoming.
In another word, assurance. Knowing that people have your back. That you have belonging. That you can thrive, not just survive.
What is trust? It's all these things, and more. It's a conviction of hope. It's an expectation, required to build relationships with others.
Trust is something that always seems to need to be earned. And it can be broken with much less effort than it took to build.
So how do we build trust with the people we need to the most? Our family, our mentors, our peers? For athletes, our teammates and coaches?
Start with trusting ourselves.
Trust breeds trust.
A sure example of relationship insecurity is if people can't trust that they can be completely honest with each other, for the betterment of the whole (both of them together). People don't trust people who try to take advantage of them. Those who try to make uneven or unfair deals. Ones who don't have each others' backs.
For trust to exist, each person must believe that the other wants what's best for them, even when things are hard to say or hear.
In order to build trust with others, start with building trust within.
Stop questioning your actions. Stop second-guessing your emotions. Work (slowly but surely) to care more about what you believe about you, rather than what other people might think.
Building trust requires that each party put just a little more out each time they interact with one another. We're all just looking to raise the bet.
We take a little risk showing our genuine selves. And hope it's well-received.
When it is, then we gain confidence in trusting that the people closest to us will love us for who we are, and what we bring to making the together better.
But then the next time, the other person takes a little risk themselves. They show you a little more inside their mind and life. It's give and take. Give a little, get a little back.
We all have two chances to build trust each time we encounter others:
1) to trust in who I am to put my genuine self out there to other people, even when facing risks of rejection?
2) to reciprocate when others put themselves out to me, and accept them for who they are and what they're presenting to the "together"?
The alternative is to not raise the bet. To not accept the olive branch of reciprocated trust when it's presented. To choose to not build more understanding.
And that's ok too. You don't have to go deep with everyone. There may certainly be people you don't want to deal with. Maybe people who have already broken trust.
But if you want to be the trusted, go-to, big-time deliverer for your team, your family, your friends, you must build trust.
And to build trust, you must trust in yourself. And take the gamble that others will accept you for who you are.
It's a big gamble, sometimes! But there may be a great reward on the other side...better relationships, closer camaraderie, and a more fortified network of support within the group.
Stay frosty, friends. Raise the bet.
Josh